Sadness...

We received disturbing and sad news last night. Baby Gabby passed away yesterday and I have been a wreck since I heard the news. She was only two and a half months old and I think it hit close to home having Torin only be 5 months. I feel so many different emotions. As I laid in bed last night crying I couldn't help but be mad and hurt. Mad at God...why does this have to happen? It is no secret that Paul and I struggled to conceive our precious baby. And it is no secret that I am the one with the 'defect'. I had amazing support from family and friends, but no one really understood what I was going through. I decided to join a blog during my struggle to conceive and I became a Fabulous Clomid Lady. The bond I have with these women is something I can't explain...they understand how I feel, what I think, and the emotions that go along with infertility. I don't have a sister, but these ladies are my sisters...we are a sisterhood. We talk every day and I can share anything with them. One of our sisters has lost her precious baby girl and I know all of us are distraught. Why? Why? Why?

We all have struggled for so long to get our precious gifts and I don't understand how they can be taken away. We've endured the shocking news that we have PCOS and cannot conceive on our own, pills to make us ovulate, had uncomfortable procedures performed, artificial inseminations, invetro, fertility specialists, miscarriages, doctor's appointment after doctor's appointment, hundreds of negative pregnancy tests, and the list goes on. When our miracle finally happens, how do we lose it? To my Fabulous Clomid Sisters...thank you for your constant support and love.

I am so thankful that God has blessed us with a happy, healthy little boy. I am thankful for so many things God has blessed me with in my life. But today life isn't fair. Today I can be mad.

Rest in peace, Baby Gabby. Leslie, Scott, and Natbug...our prayers go out to you during this difficult time.