The Shower

I've been writing a lot more lately especially at night since I'm hardly sleeping. Thanks to Unisom, I'm able to sleep a little bit better until Paul comes in and wakes me up wanting to cuddle at midnight. GRRRR! (I love you dear, but I'm going to start wearing a sign that reads "If asleep, do not touch." :)) Mostly I write to the babies and Torin, but occasionally I'll jot down some things just for me. Here is a recent piece.

The Shower

I have never been one to appreciate a shower. It is, after all, only water. In the past month however, the shower is my sanctuary. My fifteen minutes (on a good day) of 'me' time. The only 'me' time I get anymore. Literally speaking, I'm still not alone. I carry my two beautiful twins with me wherever I am. But during those fifteen minutes, they too are quiet. They aren't kicking me or each other and are probably sleeping I'm guessing, since one of them is constantly moving lately. Thanks to my twins I no longer need to worry about shaving my legs in the shower as I haven't seen from my thigh to my knee for a good three weeks now (I do take baths to shave my legs yet :)). So that gives me more time to do absolutely nothing in the shower but rest once I've washed my hair.
For those fifteen minutes I don't have to worry about my job, hear the words "Mrs. B, I forgot a pencil again" or "my homework" or whatever the excuse is for the day, be asked to run another data report, attend yet another meeting, grade anyone's paper, plan any lessons or help a single struggling student with literacy or math.
For those fifteen minutes, I don't have to worry about the house by throwing in another load of laundry, vacuuming, dusting, sweeping, mopping, scrubbing, folding, washing, unloading, paying the bills, doing the budgeting, figuring out dinner (or cooking it since that too is my job lately), writing a grocery list, updating a calendar, sending a birthday or anniversary card, and cleaning up any of the day-to-day messes that an 18 month old boy and 5 year old dog can make.
For those fifteen minutes, I don't have to worry about my husband by picking his clothes up off the floor, reminding him for the tenth time of an appointment or what is going on for the day, telling him where he has placed his phone, money clip or any other item that has been misplaced that day, wonder if he will come home with a job or not since his company is so dependable (insert sarcastic eye roll here), try to give him 'husband and wife quality time' once Torin has finally went to sleep for the night, make every effort to not look like a complete wreck when he walks through the door at night (I used to primp my hair and do make-up touches, now it is more like making sure I don't have snot on my shirt and my teeth are brushed), and have him feel loved, supported and important in my life.
For those fifteen minutes, I don't have to worry about being a mom (unless Paul isn't home, then I still need to pay attention some). I don't have to read a book for the twentieth time that day, sing the same song over and over, watch the movie Shrek yet again that day, dance, jump, climb, play 'peek-a-boo' or 'get you', wipe a nose, change a diaper, feed a meal or snack, get more water or milk, change clothes, pick up toys, play outside, work on saying more words, and anything else you do for the most important thing in your life that you love unconditionally.
For those fifteen minutes, I can be me. I can think about what I want, feel what I want, look how I want (let's be honest, the twins are deciding this for me), and no one can change that. I love my fifteen minutes in the shower. I look forward to my fifteen minutes in the shower. I cherish my fifteen minutes in the shower. Lately, I wouldn't survive without my fifteen minutes in the shower. Thank you to the person who invented the shower.

Below is what I do those days that Paul is gone during my shower. I set Torin on the floor with books and snacks. He is wonderful while I'm in the shower. I mean, I come out of the shower to this, but I can grab the broom and take care of this mess.

Yeah, right! I send the dog in for the only thing he is good for these days. Again, this is my shower time when I don't worry about these things.